Maybe
by Ahoy-Cinderella
Summary: TWO-SHOT / "how am I supposed to be happy or whatever you think I'm going to feel about something we don't even know exists?"
1. Chapter 1

_But oh my heart, was flawed I knew my weakness_  
_So hold my hand consign me not to darkness_

_._

Olivia's heart thudded loud in her chest as she slowly recounted the weeks in her head, four times she had counted and was half way through her fifth when she gave up and let the sheer rush of panic melt through her veins. She had been experiencing symptoms for a few days but it wasn't until this morning when she actually thought about long it had been since she had had her period, she panicked. Sure all of this could be put down to the stresses she had been under in the recent months. The trial, becoming sergeant, Cragen leaving her in charge, the fact that Brian was barely home and neither was she.

She thought to herself over and over that there was no way she could be pregnant, not a chance…

Except there was. There was a very possible chance of her being pregnant, she and Brian had gotten back into their sexual ways and they hadn't exactly been careful when it came to safe sex, they barely used protection nowadays. She stood completely still in the middle of their bedroom, her hands shaking with nerves as she thought of the last few times they had sex, was she protected or not?

She shook her head and moved into the kitchen to make herself some tea. She leant her full body weight against the counter and sighed, her mind racing with thoughts of how she would tell Brian, would he be excited at the possibility of becoming a father? Would he rather she not be pregnant at all? Was there really a point of even telling him if she wasn't even sure herself?

She heard the ticking clock on the wall beside her, the continuous tick, tock, tick, tock emulating the ticking of her own biological clock. The solid memories of 'when you have kids, you'll understand' and 'how would you know you're not a mother' filtering through her ears. Her mind flashed to Lewis, his taunting her, his questions about her family and her relationship status, she closed her eyes as faded back to unhappy times until she was broken free by the loud whistle of the kettle.

Olivia carefully poured the boiling water into the mug, swirling the teabag around for a few seconds while she drifted off again before glancing at the coffee machine in the corner by the microwave, just looking coffee made her feel sick, the smell made her feel worse.

She glanced around the darkened apartment at five in the morning, the streetlights still shining bright around the city as the black sky of the early hours hadn't even began to lighten. Brian had already left an hour ago, he kissed her goodbye thinking he hadn't woke her, in reality he hadn't, she'd been awake most of the night. Her mind drifting off to happy daydreams of what it would be like if she was carrying their child, if she was to have their baby. How different their life would be if they were to become parents, she thought about if she would quit work, or at least take less hours, if they would move, maybe a quiet suburb of the city, somewhere with good schools and space for their kid to play.

She imagined a little boy, exactly like his father, dark hair and her eyes, his father's sports mad personality, she imagined Brian teaching their son how to ride a bike and hit a ball, she thought of t-ball games and muddy clothes, toy trains and cars all over the house, cartoons on a saturday morning as her family sat around the table for breakfast, father and son wearing matching jerseys as they sat on the couch and screamed at the TV as their team played on the big screen.

Or a little girl, her double in looks and her stubborn personality. She smiled as she thought of her and Brian arguing at three in the morning as they paced exhaustedly around the living room trying to soothe their screaming newborn, she saw Brian being so overprotective and caring over her and their little girl. She imagined dresses, little shoes and dance classes, paintings on the fridge, pink bedrooms and princess movies and pure joy as their little girl ran into her daddy's protective arms as he walked in the door from a long day at work.

She only realised she'd spent the whole night awake dreaming of what could be when she heard Brian's alarm from the other side of the bed, he quickly shut it off before leaning over and kissing her good morning.

Olivia ran her hand through her hair before making her way into the bedroom to get ready for another long-ass day as Sergeant Benson.

.

Olivia quickly shoved the pharmacy bag into the bottom drawer of her desk as Nick came up behind her and placed a mug of steaming coffee down on her desk. She resisted the urge to gag as the smell hit her nose and made her stomach turn.

"Everything okay?"

She quickly glanced at her partner and replied "Yeah, everything's fine"

She watched him walk away and picked up the mug, moving it to the other side of her desk, as far away from her as possible without causing attention.

Thankfully the day wasn't as crazy for her as she thought it would be, she left work at a reasonable time, grabbing a bunch of files and paperwork under her arm as well as her purse and the pharmacy bag and quickly headed out of the squad room.

The whole way home she fought with herself on whether or not she should tell Brian, her boyfriend, the would be father of their potential child. The more she thought about it the more nauseous she felt. The rustling of the plastic bag in her hand sounded louder than ever as she slowly climbed the stairs to their apartment. She silently prayed to herself that he wasn't home already, this was probably the only time she had actually wanted him to stay late at work so she could take the test in peace, by herself and figure out what the hell she was going to say after the result. If it was negative there was no need to tell him, just throw the test in the trash and never think about it again, if it was positive, then that was a whole other story.

She quietly opened the door and groaned to herself as she heard the music filtering from the radio in the kitchen through into the hallway.

He was home.

"Hey babe" Brian grinned as he walked up to his girlfriend and planted a soft kiss on her lips

Olivia sighed against him and smiled, she couldn't even find the strength within herself to get worried about the test right now, it was only a little after six and Brian was home at a decent time, and they had the entire night together. Maybe the test could wait until the morning.

"Hey" She grinned and kissed him quickly once more "You're home"

"I am" He smiled and grabbed the folders from her hands, setting them on the coffee table by the window before helping her remove her coat.

She quickly glanced at the bag in her hands and felt the nerves fluttering in her stomach "I'm gonna go get changed, I'll be back in a minute"

She rushed into the bedroom, dumping her purse and the pharmacy bag on the bed as she ran into the bathroom, she gripped the sides of the sink and stared at herself in the mirror, her eyes wide, a slight shine on her face as she felt the nausea increase, her stomach filled with butterflies when she heard Brian walk into the room.

"Babe, you didn't buy painkillers at the pharmacy did you? My head's killing me…" He went to grab the bag on the bed but Olivia stopped him

"No" She rushed, walking over to the bed and grabbing the bag in both her hands

"Are you okay?" He noticed the scared look on her face, he could feel the tension radiating throughout the room.

"I'm fine, I'll run out and get some…"

"No, it's okay, you don't have to…Liv, whats the matter?" He reached for her, his hand gently grazing her elbow as he stood in front of her

"Its nothing, well, right now its nothing, I mean…that could change, I-I dunno" She mumbled nervously, looking at her feet

"Hey" Brian placed his hand on her hip while the fingers of the other gently tipped her chin up so she faced him "What is it?"

"I don't wanna tell you" She whispered, shuffling her body weight on her feet "I-I just…theres nothing to tell really, so whats the point?"

"Okay, you can talk to me you know?" He smiled and gently pushed a strand of her silky hair behind her ear "I'm always here"

"I know" She smiled as she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him softly

"I'll go finish making dinner" Brian walked from the room. She knew he was upset that she didn't talk to him, he wasn't mad, he'd just rather they were open with each other as did she but at this point she really didn't know what to do.

Olivia quickly changed into a pair of leggings and one of Brian's old band t-shirts and grinned as the light cotton material fell over her frame, bathing her smaller body in his scent. She sat on the edge of the bed and pulled the purple box from the bag. She twisted it around in her hands a few times as she glanced at the slightly ajar bedroom door, she could hear him singing along to some old song on the radio as he rattled around with pots and plates and cutlery.

The kitchen went quiet as he finished what he was doing "Dinner will be twenty minutes" he called through to her.

She stood from the bed and cursed herself for even doing this, what if it was negative and there was no point in telling him?

She walked through to the kitchen just as he was taking a seat at the counter. He smiled wide at her and was about to say something until she placed the box in front of him. She watched his face change a few times, many emotions filtering through his body, confusion being the main one.

"Are you…"

"I don't know" She quietly interrupted, unsure if she even said the words they were so quiet. "I haven't taken the test yet, I just bought it this morning…"

"I-I erm…do you feel, I dunno, that's a stupid question" He muttered to himself as he picked up the box with shaky hands.

"I don't know what I feel" She explained, her voice a little louder than before "I've been feeling pretty crappy the last week or so, I haven't had my period this month, the smell of coffee is killing me and I just, I dunno, I thought maybe I might be"

Brian just nodded, turning the box over in his hands again and again while she stood on the opposite side of the counter, her hands gripping the edge until her knuckles turned white.

"What do you think?"

"I dunno, I mean, is there anything to really think about yet?" He remarked "I mean, you don't really know right?"

Olivia's heart dropped to her feet, he didn't want a baby. She watched his face as his gaze shifted from her face to her stomach and then back to the box containing the pregnancy test.

"No, I guess not" She whispered softly in reply

"Liv…"

"I don't wanna take it" She admitted "I don't wanna take it because if it's positive, everything changes, everything we thought we knew is gone and this whole thing we have changes, that's if you'll even stay with me and the baby, I mean Bri, we've never even talked about kids…and if it's negative, then there's this awkward thing between us of that time when I thought I could be pregnant and I wasn't and we got all worked up for nothing"

Brian let her rant on for a few minutes, her words falling from her mouth in a rush, her hands moving in time with her speech, she always spoke more with her hands when she was nervous or happy.

"Liv, I don't…I don't know what you want me to say, how am I supposed to be happy or whatever you think I'm going to feel about something we don't even know exists?"

.

They ate dinner in a relative silence, not so much ate as pushed the food around on their plates until it looked like they had eaten something. Neither of them knew what to say to each other in this awkward situation, not knowing if they were expecting a child in nine months or not.

Brian watched his girlfriend as she slowly moved around a few strands of spaghetti on her plate, her eyes focused on the back wall, her mind clearly anywhere else than here with him in their home. The pregnancy test box still sat on the counter, glaring at him, making his heart pound and his throat turn to sandpaper. He hadn't thought about having kids for a long time, being undercover, never knowing when you were getting out was kind of a shitty place to try and plan having a life.

Back in the day he had thought about it, he thought about marrying the girl of his dreams, getting a nice house with a big back yard and a dog, then a couple of years down the line having a couple of kids, maybe one of each to complete the family. Something he never really had himself growing up, with both his parents always working, trying to provide for their family he had always vowed that if he was ever to become a father and be lucky enough to have his own kids he would be there for them, through everything, they would always come first. But right now, at this point in his life, with his job the way it was, that didn't seem possible.

He had thought about it when he first met Olivia, he had been so besotted with her since day one and he'd never forget how he felt about her then, everything was so new and exciting, he had never felt that way about anyone before and then she shot him down and his dreams went with it.

He loved her beyond words, nothing in this world could compare to how he felt about her and he knew and he hoped she did too that he would do anything in the world to make her happy, even if that meant having kids, just right now, with both of their careers in the hectic mess they were, was it really the right time for a child?

"When…are you gonna…"

"I'll take it in the morning, apparently it's better to take it in the morning" Olivia spoke quickly, knowing exactly what he was asking without him even having to say it.

"Okay" Brian nodded and replied quietly, he got up from his chair and dumped his plate of food in the trash, unable to eat without feeling nauseous, the feeling of elephants doing somersaults taking over his insides.

"Do you even want kids Bri? I mean we've never even talked about it?"

"I guess I never thought I would" He shrugged and told her honestly "I did think about it, years ago before work and being UC took over my life, I mean who doesn't think about the future?"

"I guess…"

Brian moved to the couch and urged her to sit beside him. Olivia slowly leaned back into the cushions, hers hands by her side, she glanced at her left hand as he laced they're fingers together and brought their joined hands to his mouth, softly kissing her knuckles.

.

Olivia awoke the next morning to the sound of her alarm blaring beside her. She rolled over and grabbed her phone, switching the alarm off and dropped her head back to her pillow. She turned slightly when she heard a sigh and felt a pair of arms tighten around her waist.

"Should you not have left already?" She asked quietly in the darkness, her fingers reaching to trace the curve of his ear before sweeping down his jaw.

"You said you were gonna take the test this morning right? I thought maybe I should stay for it"

"You don't have to" She insisted as she began to climb out of bed

"Well, it's not exactly something I wanna hear over the phone is it?" Brian replied, a hint of anger in his voice at the fact that she thought he would just leave and expect her to do this on her own.

"No I-I'm sorry"

"Sorry I snapped" He groaned and rubbed his hands tiredly over his face as he sat up in the bed. "I just, this is it…"

"I'll be back" She said quietly as she clambered out of bed and made her way into the bathroom.

While Brian quickly got ready in the bedroom, his mind playing over both scenarios a million different ways in his mind, Olivia sat on the edge of the bathtub, her cell phone in her hand watching the stop watch count up to four minutes.

She felt sick to her stomach as she watched the one turn to two, she heard Brian shuffling around in the bedroom, she was sure he had asked if she was okay at one point but she never replied, she just sat still, in silence, the only sound being that of her thundering heart.

She ran her hands through her bed hair and sighed as the four turned to five and she still sat on the edge of the tub, she reached forward and unlocked the bathroom door inviting Brian to come in. She couldn't bear to look at the test, she had let herself get excited yesterday, just for a moment at the prospect of her still being able to have a child, still being able to be a mother like she'd always wanted and now it was the moment of truth.

"Well…" Brian quietly walked into the room and Olivia nodded towards the white and blue stick that rest on the sink.

"I can't, I-"

"Okay, it's okay" Brian sat beside her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder he kissed the side of her head three times "You want me to look?"

She nodded softly against his shoulder and stopped the clock on her phone that now read that it had been over seven minutes. She watched hesitantly as Brian slowly strode over to the sink and picked up the edge of the test.

"Well, what is it?"

.

* * *

_review please (:_

_lyrics: Broken Crown - Mumford & Sons_

_twitter: ahoycinderella_


	2. Chapter 2

_started this and didn't think it was good enough for a one-shot and then remembered 'Maybe' so worked it out to fit in with this._  
_hope you all enjoy._

_please review and let me know what you think. _

* * *

_Hit me like a ray of sun_  
_Burning through my darkest night_  
_You're the only one that I want_

.

Brian sighed as he slowly walked through the brightly lit halls of Mercy General Hospital. He had turned up at the 1-6 half an hour ago to surprise his girlfriend of two years only to find out she was in the hospital, his heart thudded in his throat and his blood ran cold until Amanda quickly informed him of the situation, she wasn't there as a patient.

He looked carefully in the windows of each room hoping to see Olivia and found her at the end of the hallway, standing outside one of the side rooms that was almost completely empty apart from a two chairs and small bed side cabinet and a white crib.

He slowly walked up to her and stood by her side, she never said a word to him, she just stood, her eyes never leaving the sight of the little baby that kicked around in the crib inside the room as the nurse fiddled with one of the wires that was attached to his little chest.

"Amanda told me you were here," He said quietly. "She told me what happened" He turned his head to look at her, her left hand rest against her mouth as she breathed slowly, watching the baby's every move. He could see the tears in her eyes and could practically hear the ticking of her biological clock echoing in the near empty hallway.

"I just wanted to make sure he's okay" She replied, her voice slightly croaky with emotion "He shouldn't have to be alone right now"

"Liv…"

"Don't, just…please, don't"

Brian dug his hands into his pockets. It had been five days since the negative sign showed up on the pregnancy test and he knew it was bothering her. She had hesitantly told him when she came home from work that day, surprised to find him in the kitchen making dinner for the two of them.

"_I'm probably not" Olivia sighed "But I just wanted to make sure"_

_He did nothing but nod, watching her turn the purple box round and round in her trembling hands. _

_Pregnant, Olivia might be pregnant. _

_His mind spun over and over while she stared at his blank expression. What if she was pregnant? He was still trying to prove to Tucker that he was worthy of having his shield back which meant he worked almost every hour of the day and basically had to agree and fulfil every command that Tucker set, and Olivia had just been promoted to Sergeant and was acting Captain of SVU until they found a replacement for Cragen. What the hell would they do with a child?_

"_I'll be back in a minute" She left his side and made her way into the bathroom._

She had been gone for almost fifteen minutes before he'd made his way from the kitchen to their bathroom to make sure she was okay only to find her sitting on the edge of the bathtub, tears cascading down her cheeks, streaking her make up, asking him to look at it for her because she couldn't bear to look at it herself. The tension between them in the small tiled room was unbearable as Brian looked back at her sadly and shook his head. She had laughed and walked through to their bedroom, sadly dumping her body down on the edge of the bed, sighing when he sat beside her and held her hand.

"_What the hell was I thinking?" She chuckled through the tears "There was no way I would've been pregnant"_

"_It's not entirely impossible Liv, I mean we haven't exactly been careful" He reminded her as he kissed the back of her hand_

"_Yeah but this is me we're talking about, I've never been that lucky"_

"_Maybe it's for the best" He whispered and squeezed her hand, his heart clenching when she turned her gaze to him, heartbreak swirling in her dark eyes._

"_What's that supposed to mean?"_

"_Look at our lives Liv, we work all hours and I know that would change if we had a kid, hell I'd rather quit my job and be a stay at home dad than work with Tucker every day but right now, with you being Captain and everything, it's just a lot to handle"_

"_I'm not Captain" She replied with a stern whisper, knowing that he was right, a child was just not a good idea for them right now but it sure as hell didn't stop her wanting one._

"_You know what I mean though right?" He kissed her shoulder through the black material of her loose sweater._

"_Yeah, I just wish you were wrong"_

_Brian nodded and wrapped her in his arms, his fingers softly stroking her hair as she began to sob "I know babe, me too"_

_._

"Is he gonna be okay?"

She nodded and cleared her throat, hoping he couldn't tell that she'd spent almost every second of her time with this baby boy trying not to cry, trying not to let herself get attached "Yeah, they're just running a few tests to make sure he's in good health, keeping an eye on his heart rate and stuff but they said everything looks fine, he's a little anaemic but other than that he's perfect"

He heard her voice shudder as she uttered the last word 'perfect'. He could tell she was attached, she could see it in her face, her body language, everything about her was screaming 'worried mother' when in fact she was just a police officer, she was just someone who saved this little boy from a life of god knows what.

The nurse smiled at the couple as she left the room and held the door open for them "He's wide awake now, he's a very alert baby" She grinned "You can go and see him if you like? I'm just going to get him a bottle"

Olivia nodded and entered the room without even a glance back to see if he had followed. Brian stood outside for a few seconds, watching her face light up as she stood beside the crib, her fingers gently running over the baby's stomach and gently tapping his little nose.

He pushed the door open and stood to the side, leaning against the wall watching her, listening to her quietly whisper to the little boy. Watching her interact with this tiny human being was the most beautiful sight in the world to him, her smile was electric as she let the little boy grip her finger and hold on tight. He smiled as she gently used her free hand to tickle his belly, small grunts and smiles flowing from him as his little bare legs kicked in the air, his tiny baby feet covered in pale blue socks. In this very moment Brian knew that his girlfriend, the love of his life was born to be a mother.

"You can come say Hi" Olivia looked up at him from across the room "I'm not gonna ask you to be his dad or anything, I know he's not ours"

"Liv" Brian felt the stabbing feeling of guilt in his chest as she painfully spoke

"What?" She glared at him "I know what you're thinking, you don't want me to get attached, you don't want me to be around him for too long because my biological clock might explode and I'll go crazy with the desperate need to have a child"

"Liv, stop it, I never said any of that" He insisted

"Yeah but you were thinking it" She mumbled, turning her attention back to the baby and smiling.

"No I wasn't" Brian insisted "I was thinking that I've never seen you look happier than you do right now and I would do anything I could to keep that smile on your face because I'm so damn in-love with you. I'm so sorry that you're not pregnant right now, I know you want a child Liv, I know that you were practically born to be a mother but screw you for thinking that you're the only one out of the two of us who wants a kid"

He pushed himself off the wall just as the nurse came back into the room with a bottle of formula. She happily smiled at the pair of them and walked over the crib and handed the bottle to Olivia.

"You can feed him if you like?"

Olivia smiled and hesitantly took the bottle, her heart swelled as the nurse lifted the little boy out of the crib and handed him to her, his little hand reaching for her hair as she held him close to her chest.

Brian watched from the other side of the room, his own heart bursting against his ribcage as Olivia sat down on the chair by the window and began feeding the hungry infant. He knew he probably shouldn't but he couldn't seem to stop himself, he stepped forward from the wall and took one last glance at his girlfriend and the baby.

"I'll see you at home"

.

He had crashed by the time she had returned home. After his crazy long day at work and then the hospital he had quickly showered when he got home and collapsed into a light sleep. His mind raced the entire night; he couldn't shift the images of his girlfriend crying at the sight of the negative pregnancy test, her waiting outside the hospital room, holding the baby boy that nobody had yet claimed. His imagination soared as he dreamed of their own child or even possibly adopting that little boy in the hospital and once that idea filtered through his tired brain, it wouldn't leave.

Brian quietly dressed early in the morning, swallowing down a cup of steaming coffee as he tried to wake himself up in preparation for the long day ahead. He gently leaned down and pressed a kiss to Olivia's forehead and whispered a meaningful 'I love you' as she slept.

As he drove to work he couldn't get the images from last night out of his mind and decided to take a quick detour. He pulled up into the car park of Mercy General and braced himself against the cold winter air as he stepped out of the car.

He spotted the nurse who was dealing with the little one just hours ago and quickly asked how he was doing and if he could possibly check up on him.

The older woman led Brian down the hallway to the room where the baby boy peacefully slept.

"He should wake soon for a feed" She told him

Brian gazed down into the crib and smiled, the baby laid with one arm above his head and the blanket that lay over him was kicked off down to his feet at some point during the night.

"How old is he?"

"We're not entirely sure, the other kids who were with him couldn't tell us anything, we've guessed from his height and weight that he's around three months, maybe coming up for four. But without knowing for sure, it's only a guess." The nurse explained

"Is there no way to find out? Could you not test his DNA or something? See if his parents are in the system or something?"

"I'm just a nurse, nobody really tells me anything" She smiled at Brian "I'm not sure what they'll do"

Just then the baby stirred in his crib, his wide eyes opening, the flash of green focusing solely on Brian.

"Hey, little man" Brian smiled at the baby who's eyes widened, his mouth then flashing a gummy smile as he noticed that someone was paying attention to him, his little legs kicked as he reached his hands up. Brian put his own hand against the baby's only to have the little hand wrap tight around his ring finger and hold on for dear life.

After spending almost an hour by the baby boy's side, Brian left for work, his mind distracted for the remainder of the day.

.

"You were at the hospital this morning"

Brian stopped dead as he entered their bedroom that night. Olivia sat on the bed with a book in her lap, her dark framed glasses, that he loved to see her in perched neatly on her nose. He removed his tie and shrugged off his blazer, throwing it on the chair near the window and walked over to her, placing his arms on either side of her body and planting a full kiss on her lips, grinning when she smiled against his mouth and cupped his face with her soft hands.

"Yeah, I did" He whispered as he walked away from her and into the bathroom.

Olivia jumped out of bed and braced herself against the doorframe to the bathroom, her arms folded over her chest as he watched him brush his teeth.

"Can I ask why?"

Brian removed his shirt and belt, his toothbrush hanging from his mouth "I felt like it" He shrugged with a slight smile

"Bri…" Her eyes pleaded with him for an honest answer.

He spat into the sink and rinsed his mouth; dumping the toothbrush back in the holder "I just didn't think he should wake up alone"

.

Olivia awoke to the muffled sound of Brian's voice filtering through the apartment, she had gotten in late from work last night and barely had the energy to say hello to him. She buried her face into the pillow when she heard the bedroom door open.

"Shall we go say hi to Mama, little man?" She couldn't help but grin into the dark covered pillow beneath her head and she listened to his quiet whispers of her man and the happy gurgles coming from the little baby boy in his arms.

The mattress sank as Brian climbed back into bed, baby cradled tight in one arm and his free hand holding a bottle and a burping cloth. Olivia rolled over and smiled at them both with tired eyes.

"Hey handsomes" She grinned

"Hey Mama" Brian replied, sitting their son in his lap. "Say good morning to Mama, Evan"

The baby boy squealed with delight as Olivia leaned forward and kissed his chubby cheeks.

"I still think we should've named him Hugo"

Olivia burst out laughing at Brian's statement, mesmerised by their new son who sat bouncing in his fathers lap.

"No, we'd wouldn't have named him Hugo, would we? No we wouldn't" She spoke in a baby voice as she lifted her son into her arms and held him tight, pressing a series of kisses to his face.

It had been a full month since Olivia and Brian had adopted their baby boy. Having spent a decent amount of time with him while he was in the hospital and trying to find his birth parents only to come up with nothing, baby boy doe was officially put in the system. It was then that they decided if having their own child wasn't an option, they should look into adoption, specifically adopting baby boy doe.

The process had gone surprisingly quickly and the couple adopted the baby within the month naming him Evan Benson Cassidy.

Brian watched as Olivia she sat the little boy in her lap, facing him. He began pulling faces to make his son laugh. He watched her closely, her arm wrapped around Evan's middle, her lips pressed against his head.

"Hey…" He reached for her, moving closer to her he wrapped his arm around her back. "Morning Sunshine" He grinned and kissed her mouth.

"Morning babe" She replied, holding his chin with her free hand, grinning when their son squealed between them, his face turning sad indicating he was ready for his morning bottle.

She handed Evan back to his father and watched as Brian sat back against the headboard, sitting Evan in his lap, letting him lay with his back against Brian's stomach and quickly put the bottle to his mouth. Evan's little hand reached up and gripped Brian's thumb that was holding the bottle, his other tiny hand wrapped around his mother's ring finger, gripping the diamond that newly sat upon it.

Three weeks ago Brian had popped the question, completely out of the blue. They were sitting on the couch, cradling their new son trying to decide what his name would be and more importantly, whether he would be a Benson or a Cassidy.

"_Well, I was kinda hoping if he was going to be a Cassidy, maybe his Mama would wanna be one as well?"_

_Brian dropped from his sitting position on the couch down to one knee in front of Olivia. He quickly leaned forward and kissed his son's cheek, who sat happily in his mother's lap, suckling on the pacifier in his mouth._

"_Brian…"_

"_Marry me, Liv?"_

_She covered her mouth and cried "You're serious?" she laughed_

"_Of course I am, I've had this thing for a while you know" He grinned gently shaking the little black box that contained the diamond ring in front of her as leaned into her carefully making sure to not crowd the baby._

"_Marry me"_

"I don't wanna go to work again"

"Yesterday was your first day back" Brian chuckled

Olivia smiled up at him and kissed his arm as she lay by his side, her eyes now focused on their son who had turned his head to stare at her as she spoke.

"Yeah, but everything's different now"

"It sure is" He grinned, running his fingers gently over Evan's soft baby hair as he ate.

"I mean, we're getting a new Captain in a few weeks…"

Brian turned to his fiancée "You're really thinking about this? About leaving SVU?"

Olivia looked at him and shrugged "Maybe, I mean I at least want to cut my hours down. No way can we go back to before."

She watched her son, _her son_. His bright green eyes gazing at her as he drank from the bottle. Everything in her life was right here in this room, in this bed. She gazed up at Brian who smiled back at her, she knew right then that she wanted to wake up like this every morning, with her boys.

"I love you" She leaned in and kissed Brian's arm and her son's head.

"Which one of us you talking to there, Liv?" Brian chuckled as she leaned up and kissed him on the mouth.

"Both of you"

.

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_thoughts?_

_lyrics: Halo - Beyonce_

_twitter: ahoycinderella_


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